This was the first line in a song that I especially liked at Winter Conference. It's so true.
This semester, God has taken my mind and my heart and emotions on quite a roller coaster. I finished last year and began this one with full intentions of spending this coming summer studying abroad in Italy. I've been pretty excited about going - traveling abroad for the first time and finishing my Religious Studies minor in Italy sounds pretty darn cool. Not only would I be working on my academics, I would be having an amazing and diverse experience in a foreign country, something I never planned on being able to do.
A month or two into the semester, Cru began talking about Summer Projects at our weekly meetings. We do this every year in order that the new Freshman can learn about the experience. My Freshman year, I was swept up in the idea of going on a Summer Project - so I did, and had an incredibly summer. However, I didn't plan on repeating the experience, as every summer for a business student is vitally important. This year, when I heard all of the talk about Summer Projects, I got a little flutter of excitement in my chest, but nothing to actually convince me to consider going.
A few weeks later, sitting on my dorm room floor, I typed the Summer Project website into my computer. I don't know why, I just did. I won't bore you with the details of the researching and emails that followed, however it led to the slow changing of my heart to kind of just a little bit consider going on a Summer Project.
When I presented our Director's wife with a threefold decision for the summer with a choice between studying abroad, going on an international summer project, and going on an operations summer project (including pros and cons for each), I was becoming increasingly confused about what path I was actually supposed to take for this summer. She helped me a little bit, but ultimately, the decision was/is of course up to me.
Over the remainder of the semester God continued to work in my heart and provided multiple divine circumstances that led to my knowledge of a brand new project in Irvine, California. This project is unique in that it calls for students to use their unique technical abilities (graphic design, event planning, finance) to serve Cru in their regional office for the summer while also having some of the same components of other summer projects. After getting the opportunity to email and eventually speak in person with the director of the project (Dan), I began to get excited about the project.
A few times I stopped and checked myself - I'm getting excited over the possibility of doing accounting in California instead of traveling in Europe??
But I was, and the fact that Italy was getting pushed further and further to the back of my mind was definite evidence of it. By mid-November when I decided to officially apply for "SoCal Summer Project," Italy no longer even sounded like a pleasurable option. I was almost certain that God wanted me to go to California, and pretty positive that's what I wanted too.
Of course, God threw me for another loop during my time at Winter Conference this year. On the third day of the conference, I met for an hour with Holly, the woman project director (and Dan's wife) and after chatting for a bit, she officially accepted me to SoCal Summer Project and invited me to spend June 13 - August 9 in Irvine, California.
With a relieved and joyful sigh, I thought that my decision was made. But God sometimes has even bigger plans than we dare to imagine. On the last day of the conference (New Year's Eve), Dan asked to speak with me after our main session. By the time we got to talk, it was 10:30 PM, and I was already missing some of the New Year's Eve party. But at that moment, it didn't really matter.
Dan sat me down and offered me an incredible and incredibly challenging opportunity - the job of acting as the Finance Director the summer briefings and debriefings. What does that mean?? I'm still not absolutely positive.
Cru sends out hundreds of students every summer to countries all over the world to share the Gospel. Before leaving, each team of students meets in California to finish turning in (or raising) their support and receive training for their trip. My position, would be to oversee the all the incoming and outgoing money for each of the projects. I would get to watch support come in, and literally be part of the process of sending students all over the world. What an incredible job!
However overwhelmed I was in that moment with Dan, I became even more so over the following next week as I thought through the decision and discussed it extensively with Mike and my director's here at UA. The job will be difficult and stressful. It's a lot of responsibility and would require me to report to California around May 20th and stay for the entire summer. It would include additional support, commuting, and a very long and exhausting summer of work. I would be participating in both position and the summer project.
This has probably been one of the most challenging decisions I've ever had to make. Doing a complete 180 from studying in Italy for 5 weeks to spending 3 months in California doing accounting for Cru has been a really stressful process. I'm not taking this decision lightly, however I am thankful for it, as every new option offers an incredible opportunity presented by God.
After 5 months of discernment and praying, I've finally made my decision (unless God does more crazy things this semester). I'm going to California. I'm not going to Italy for 1 month, or on Summer Project for 2. I'm going to spend 3 months serving God and Cru with the special and technical skills He has given me. I made promise to do what God wanted me to do. I'm certain that this is it.
Hannah you never cease to amaze me!
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