Changing Perspectives

This semester, I have been learning and thinking a lot about the REASON that I do the things that I do.  And when I say learning and thinking, I really mean God has been pretty clear in showing me.  I’ve always been one of those people to get involved in tons of things.   I love the business, the participation, and sometimes the people.  But most of all, I now realize that I love the recognition.  I like to be noticed, I like the title on my resume, I like the list of things I’ve accomplished, I like the competition.  These things can be good, but if the root reason you are doing something is for the recognition, what’s the point?  I used to love everything about being involved and in charge, and lately I love less and less.  It’s not because the things I’m involved in aren’t rewarding or fun or academic.  It’s because there isn’t meaning behind it.

I guess this can be hard to understand or wrap your head around, but I’m beginning to realize that God doesn’t want me to be a leader so that I can say I’m an “Executive Board Member” or I was in charge of this or that.  He wants me to be one to make a difference in the lives of people, and most of the things I do don’t have that importance behind them. 

So I’m stepping back.  It’s hard for me to step back because I still want the participation and the title, but it’s refreshing to be free of some of the things I don’t actually get any joy from or give a whole lot of passion too.  I’m no longer going to be an RA or an E-Board member of Eller Ambassadors.  I’m not going to complete an Honors Thesis just because it sounds cool.  I’m going to start putting my time into things that matter, that yield life, that I hope are the places that God intends me to be.

But who knows?  He seems to change my ideas and perspectives every day.  How crazy to look back and see the difference.